This is some random paper I found digging through all the junk in my room. It's from 10/15/04:

"I was thinking about how great a thing salvation is. Really think about it for a minute; how great and undeserved it is. It's an incomprehensibly great thing that the King of the universe would give His life for rebellious man. I would think that He would just destroy everything. But instead, He came down to the world, lived among us, and gave His life for us. I can't even think of the words to describe how great a thing this is. I don't even fully understand it.

He is loving beyond understanding and He holds out life and forgiveness to all who will simply take it. Don't reject God's offer of reconciliation, forgiveness, and new and eternal life; doing so would be utter foolishness.

And please help us, Lord, to begin to understand better how great of a thing this is that you have done for us. Please help us to realize how much everyone needs this and that we need to tell others. And out of your great love for us, help us to love and forgive others."

When I survey the wondrous cross
On which the Prince of Glory died
My richest gain I count but lost
And pour contempt on all my pride

See from His head His hands His feet
Sorrow and love flow mingled down
Did e'er such love and sorrow meet
Or thorns compose so rich a crown

Were the whole realm of nature mine
That were an off'ring far too small
Love so amazing so divine
Demands my soul my life my all

Oh the wonderful cross
Oh the wonderful cross
Bids me come and die and find
That I may truly live

Oh the wonderful cross
Oh the wonderful cross
All who gather here
By grace draw near
And bless your name

-The Wonderful Cross

My dream, my passion, and my desire...

My dream, my passion, and my desire is to be a hero and change the world.

We live in a generation that is lost. That is wandering through darkness, stumbling and falling on the wrong paths they have chosen, being destroyed on those paths and by the corrupt enemy of this world. They are dying, they are being lost forever. Jesus has rescued me from this darkness, and from this path with no good future, and nothing good in this present life, and He has rescued me from an overpowering enemy, and continues to protect me. He made me into a soldier in His powerful army, and given authority to trample the enemy. I want to go into battle and rescue this wandering generation.

There are many people who live in brokenness. Their lives are filled with pain and hurt. They wonder if things will ever change, if things will always be this way. They live in broken families, abuse, trauma, depression, or other painful things. They take it out on themselves, wondering if this shattered life is all their fault, or wander deeper into darkness searching for a way out. They live in loneliness and despair. They live without hope, without anyone to care or notice. Jesus has healed me and continues to heal me. I want to bring the same to their lives. I want to bring love and worth. I want to bring hope and change. I want to bring wholeness to this broken generation.

There are many fearful, untrained soldiers in this army we serve in. They have what it takes, but they get distracted by the jeers and taunts of the enemy, and by their own doubting hearts. They don't always trust the One Who has all authority in Heaven and on Earth. They need someone to help them put on their armor, sharpen their sword, teach them to fight skillfully, and be by their side in battle. This is one area I have to admit I fall short in right now, but God will help me and work on me, and after He does, I will help others to do the same. I want to make heroes of this discouraged generation.

There are many people who have no song of joy in their hearts. Their focus is only on the things of this world, or they are weary and it faded away. They take no time, or sometimes just forget, to worship the One Who made everything, and Who gives us far more than we could ever dream. Life is too fast-paced, and given up for things of no real value, or life is too hard and we don't go to the One Who can renew us and give us strength. Jesus has given me a song of true joy in my heart and given me more than I could ever ask for, and He has always been there for me and sustained me when I am empty and have nothing left. I want to use the gift of music to glorify God and to help others to better see Him, find strength, and remember what really matters in life. I want to give a song to this joyless generation.

The task I face is enormous. There is so much work to do. There is so much opposition from the enemy and from those who hate what is good. I feel overwhelmed when I think about just one of these things, but God has put more than one thing on my heart. How can I do this? How can I possibly have what it takes? I don't know, but I'm not alone. There are other warriors who will help me and God is always right by my side. I can't do much myself, but:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
-Philippians 4:13

Let my life be a song of praise.

Lord,

What is worship? As far as I know, it's simply letting you know how much I love you. I also know it needs to be real. I can't fool you, you know my heart. I also know that it needs to be all for you. True worship, not for the praise of man, for you alone. An audience of one. I know too that my whole life needs to worship you, in how I think, how I act, everything. It's alot more than a short time of playing music every week. My whole life needs to worship you.

Let my life say I love you Lord.
Let my life show how real and powerful you are.
Let my life say your what really matters.
Let my life say that it's only what you think about me that is truly important.

Let everything that I do worship you.
Let my life be a song of praise.

"Nothing seems impossible to a mind that is always questioning what 'possible' really is. We could prove them all wrong if only we did not fear the comfort lost in allowing the lies to melt away."

"For all the times what we speak can't ever add up to what we feel inside...
For all the times we've kept our tears secret and gave into loneliness...
For all the times we've wished it'd rain, hoping and praying that the sound will drown out our darkest thoughts...
For all the frowns we wear when no one's watching...
For all the times we can't seem to escape our nightmares...
For all the times we're afraid to need help...
For all the times that memories can never be enough...
And for all the times that our hope wears so thin...
His love is sufficient."
-Bryt Fraser

Total Surrender...

I asked a short while ago, "What does it take to get closer to God? What does it take to know Him as much as possible this side of Heaven? What does it take to fully serve Him?" I think I have my answer:

Total surrender...

God kept asking me over and over during the time I was praying about it, "Are you willing to do what it takes? Are you willing to pay the cost? It won't be easy." I am willing. Nothing else matters anymore. Help me though...

Comment Question:
"...so...what ignites your heart Jim? What is the fire shut up within your bones? What compels you? There can be many things...there are many for me."

Four main things: the lost, the hurting, young Christians, and music of course.

There are lost people everywhere we go that need someone to reach out and tell them about their only Hope, I want to somehow do that eventually. A heart for hurt people is something God gave me shortly after I became a Christian. It seems like family problems, abuse, messed up lives, and any other bad thing like that you can think of are getting really common now, and someone needs to help those people. Some people are just simply hurting. That's probably the biggest thing God's put on my heart. Young Christians also need someone to disciple them and build them up in their faith. And music is something God told me to get into, and I've loved it ever since.

Are you listening to me? Really listening?

"Are you listening to me? Really listening?" - Matthew 11:15

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?" - Matthew 13:9

"...Are you listening to this? Really listening?" - Matthew 13:43

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?" - Mark 4:9

"Are you listening to this? Really listening?" - Mark 4:23

"...Are you listening to this? Really listening?" - Luke 8:8

"...Are you listening to this? Really listening?" - Luke 14:34

I want to really get God's word...really get it. I don't want to just know what its talking about, like from a Bible study or something like that. I don't want to just know in my mind all the right answers. I want to really, truly, know it. I want it to work in me. I want it to change me. I want God to use it to make me who He wants me to be. I want to really trust everything God says. I want it to always fill my heart and thoughts. I want it to guide everything I do. I want it to shape everything I am. I want to really live it out, not because I have to, but because its part of who I am...